Last week, the nation’s talking heads were abuzz with speculations as to how the superdelegates would cast their votes in the upcoming Democratic election. But that speculation really is so last week, according to major news publications such as the New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and the Hayseed Journal of East Shitbar, Illinois.
The real question this week has become: how will the super-superdelegates vote? Nancy Pelosi and Al Gore have been named as some of the leading super-superdelegates, the delegates who lead the plain old superdelegates, who lead the ordinary delegates, who in turn lead the useless lump colloquially referred to as “the voters.”
Today, Pelosi and Gore revealed that their votes will be determined by the leadership of a super-super-superdelegate.
“The internet,” Pelosi explained when asked the identity of the super-super-superdelegate. “The internet has a lot of power and generally knows what’s up.”
“I will absolutely follow the internet’s lead,” Gore agreed. “The fact that I may or may not have invented it is totally irrelevant.”
Asked if other super-super-superdelegates would be influencing the election, Pelosi conceded that “God might play a role.”
God, coincidentally, may also have been invented by a human, but sources close to the former Vice President say he takes no credit for this one.
The media is expected to be named as the third super-super-superdelegate, but thus far it has modestly restricted its influence to mad attempts to start shit between two basically decent candidates.
God may play a role in upcoming election, super-superdelegates say.