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“This is to make an ass of me…”

Posted by on November 1, 2006

I was thinking about A Midsummer Night’s Dream yesterday. As fairies, Titania and Oberon exist outside of human morality: they have extra-marital affairs, fuck around with nature when they’re in a mood, and meddle in the lives of mortals whenever they like. Because they exist in an amoral paradigm, they are not punished for behaving in an amoral way. When Oberon, for example, puts love-juice in Titania’s eyes and sends her off to fall unwittingly into bed with the first ass she meets, he is basically putting roofies in her beer and allowing her to be assaulted. However, what would be reprehensible in a human is allowable here, because Titania, being an amoral creature, cannot expect protection from anyone else’s moral code. In effect, it’s okay for Oberon to set his wife up to be date-raped by a donkey, because she’s inhuman herself.

Some similar rule seems to be in effect at the Castro’s Halloween street party. In a desperate, last-minute attempt at a costume, I went the out-and-out slutty route with a whorish schoolgirl outfit. Walking through the crowd with the Lad, my ass was grabbed by strangers no less than three times. This made me wonder: is Halloween a fancy-dress ball, or is it a giant role-playing game? If I’m only wearing my costume then I ought to be free from groping hands. If, however, I am expected to become my costume then I am in fact soliciting such contact by choosing to wear it. In short, am I putting myself outside the normal code of social conduct by becoming the character of a transgressing schoolgirl? Or am I still a moral human who ought to have some protection from stray hands to the rear?

To put it another way, when Cala Foods has a sale on giant bags of candy the day after Halloween, should I be expected to resist the urge to buy it because it’s so bad for me? Or does the tempting cheapness of the candy, so clearly calculated to draw me in, make it essentially fat-free for the day?

Finally, would an extra layer of fat added to my ass from this year’s post-Halloween candy protect me from unwanted ass grabbing next year?

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