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They play the tennis

Posted by on July 7, 2006

I don’t know if any of my readers like watching women’s tennis, or any tennis, or if they like pulling their own hair out or keying their own cars, but I’m going to assume no.

Yesterday while bumming around the parental castle I found myself listening to the announcers for a lady-game my dad was watching. What struck me was not their frequent mispronunciation of words but rather their focus. These women, they play the tennis. They play it tough and well. But the announcers seemed really concerned with the players’ mental states.

Announcer 1: You know, Bob*, I’m not seeing a lot of enthusiasm from Anna** today.

A2: She’s never been what you’d call stoked, Jim. Whoa, what a hit!

A1: That was a fantastic hit from Anna, Bob!

A2: Now you would think she’d be jumping up and down there.

A1: Just doesn’t seem real excited by things.

A2: Not a rewarding player to watch, Jim.

A1: I’ve seen more excited players.

A2: Now Venus, she’s a good time.

A1: Anna, really a so-so player in terms of jumping around after a good play.

A2: Jim, I couldn’t agree more.

I like to think of these guys following me around in my job.

A1: Now, Bob, even after she successfully fixes the copier, you’ll notice she seems pretty tepid.

A2: True, though, Jim, let’s not forget she has copier ink all over her new skirt.

A1: It’s irrelevant, Bob. I’d like to see more enthusiasm from a secretary of her caliber.

Or maybe they could follow me around my current job.

A1: Bob, do you think she seems really pumped about sitting around on the couch all day?

A2: Why the hell would she be, Jim?

*Unlike Sean, I am not a big enough sports fan to note the actual names of announcers.

**Ditto for the tennis players.

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