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Lions and tigers and the equality that arises when every chimp gets exactly the same sized banana

Posted by on April 14, 2006

This morning we got up early like virtuous folk and went to see zoo animals. Nothing like a zoo animal to make your problems seem small. As at any zoo, the people turned out to be the lamest exhibit. We watched a series of people leaning over the penguin tank and petting the penguins one by one as they swam back and forth, the penguins having nowhere else to go really. Finally one of the penguins bit a little girl’s finger (I’d like to say clean off, but I can’t be sure). The Lad said the girl’s mom’s face was priceless, like, I lean my kid out over this pen and encourage her to pet a wild animal and IT BITES HER???

Some would say that seeing the zoo in Berlin is a waste of time in a city so full of history and techno clubs. But we made a little history of our own by storming the walls and bringing down each and every barrier between us and the animals. Berlin and its zoo can at last be reunited thanks to us. And lion communism is defeated forever.

Sadly, the Lad was a casualty of this adventure, as he was eaten by a tiger. At least it wasn’t by me this time.

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