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Oh, Egon!

Posted by on March 16, 2006

In a thoroughly unexpected turn of events, my company really seems to want me to come back to them after this little jaunt. It will depend on their budget issues, but it’s possible I have a job waiting for me when I get home.

This raises some issues I’m not comfortable examining. For example, what kind of a company lets its receptionist take a two month leave of absence with no repercussions? Any retarded monkey can answer the phone, so what exactly am I providing that they are so desparate to keep? And if I am that great, why are they paying me so little? (I think those last two questions really answer each other, actually.) I’m sort of hoping they change their minds about the whole thing, since I was really looking forward to being unemployed in the summer months. I’m pushing my limits now — taking long lunches, complaining a little louder, leaving dead squid on executives’ chairs — in an effort to get un-re-hired.

I’m also looking a little more desperately at my other options. Michele has suggested we should get master’s degrees in library science, but I don’t know. Apart from the $8,000 and the two more years of schooling, I’m concerned that being an actual librarian might push me right over the edge. Right now I am very nerdy and, let’s be honest, very ridiculously attractive. Now is there anything hotter than a hot librarian? Conversely, is there anything nerdier? I could fall right over into being both too hot and too nerdy to even exist. I guess I will just remain a secretary, since there’s nothing remotely hot or nerdy about that.

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