Me: Hi, do you take reservations?
Him: Oh, no. We like to say that reservations are a way to prevent spontaneity in life.
Me: I like to say that reservations are a way to prevent standing around in the cold for thirty minutes.
Him: Well, we like to say that reservations are a way to prevent diners from enjoying our fabulous ambiance and charming waiting area.
Me: Well, I like to say that reservations are a way to prevent my blood sugar from dropping so low that I “accidentally” rip off the host’s face and eat it from sheer desperation.
Him: Well, we like to say that we are flexible.
Me: Well, I like to say that I will arrive at seven on Wednesday with a large party.
Him: Well, we like to say that we will be prepared.
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