Today is my last day in this job. I know that once I’m gone my soul will have a chance to finally grow back after years of enduring bureacratic termites, but it’s sort of hard to get excited about that because it’s such a nebulous thing and, after all, I’ve done without it for this long. My laptop, on the other hand, is very real to me and turning it in today is breaking my heart. So shiny, so silver, so speedy and true. Together we have made our way through all four of the Monkey Island games and several award-winning term papers. Has my soul ever done as much for me? Will my soul be able to check my spelling or interface seamlessly with our wireless router? Can I use it to download Loom?
My laptop got so excited this morning when I began coiling the power cord and stowing things in the carrying bag. It was a lesson in ebullience to see it wag its little lid and bark out the Windows chime noise over and over–I had to tell the poor thing we were just going for a long drive in the country. Little does it know that in a few minutes I will be handing it over to the IT guys so that its little brain can be wiped. Oh, lappie, who will lovingly clean you with anti-static wipes and waste your massive potential on popcap games now?