My parents finally got a new dog who they’ve named after Sean’s youngest sister. It’s my hope that this mortal insult will make his family return our Scattergories game. So far it’s not working, though it’s possible that neighborhood gossip just hasn’t reached their house yet. Our Molly is another black lab mix, which leads to lots of fun mix-ups when I see her out of the corner of my eye, think she is Roxie risen from the dead, and begin screaming “Zombie dog! Zombie dog! Everyone guard your brains!” Up close, of course, she is nothing like Roxie, who was nothing if not proportional. By contrast, Molly is gifted with an oversized head like the kid in So I Married An Axe Murderer which has already garnered her the nickname “Fathead” from my loving parents. I’d stick up for her but I’m just happy they’re not using it on me anymore.
Molly is one of those sweet, cuddly dogs who wants to get as close as possible and will stand right on your feet to do it. This is adorable, unless you were planning on walking anywhere. Like me as a child, three year old Molly is afraid of enclosed spaces and the dark, so I predict my dad will enjoy tormenting her even as he did me by hiding in all the really black, grotty parts of the house during hide’n’seek and then jumping out at her. Unlike me, Molly can retaliate by whizzing on the floor when startled and will pretty much be able to get away with it.
In conclusion, puppets.