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Hunka broken heater

Posted by on September 8, 2004

So things are pretty blissful here in my life, as many of you know now after seeing our new place. The heat is stuck on still, but I’m choosing to look on that as a metaphor for our burning love. I’m so in love with the apartment that I actually mopped the kitchen floor yesterday–not to much purpose, since I never really learned to clean a floor, but I thought it resonated well as a symbolic gesture. Coming home every day is a sweaty delight. I’m really looking forward to getting that radiator fixed so my delight can be of the dryer sort.

And now, here are some conversations between seventeenth-century poet Robert Herrick and his mistress, Anthea.

R: Anthea! I have written a poem about my immense love for you!

A: Oh, Robin, how thrilling!

R: It’s about how miserable I will be when you die.

A: Take me, you manly stack of artist!

FIVE YEARS LATER

R: Anthea! I have written a poem about my immense love for you!

A: Oh, yes? Does it involve my death, by any chance?

R: About the depths of misery I will sink to when you are dead, my darling.

A: This is, what? The sixteenth of these?

R: It begins, ‘When you are rotting cold and still…’

A: *Sigh.*

FIVE YEARS LATER

R: Anthea! I have written a poem about–

A: This had better not involve my death.

R: It’s about flowers.

A: Really? Well, that sounds very–

R: Dead flowers, which symbolize my–

A: Get out of my sight.

If you haven’t seen Garden State, fucking do it, man.

12 Responses to Hunka broken heater

  1. tracy

    but garden state sucked a big dong! hated it.

  2. tracy

    Of course nothing like Vincent Gallo’s big dong that gets sucked in Brown Bunny.

    I can’t believe I went to HS with that guy and didn’t know the power of his big ‘ol shlong.

  3. ivan

    dude, seriously. garden state? craptastic.

  4. didofoot

    wow. you are both so wrong that one could say you were wro-ang, like you were the froo-its of the dev-ill. but you are both young and will learn in time to love the force. and also garden state.

  5. tracy

    NEVER, i tell you……..NEVER.

    not until you like Seinfeld. Deal?

  6. Kristina

    Judging by the number of people who’ve told me to see Garden State, I won’t see it until it comes out on DVD because everyone I know (who likes to go to the movies) has already seen it. Sorry we didn’t make your BBQ, but Aaron and I really do want to check out your new place… just maybe not until it’s less hot and/or the heater is off.

  7. sean

    It’s odd how the two films in the past year that have inspired my friends to evangelize for them online are “Eternal Sunshine” and “Garden State”. I don’t have a negative impression of “Garden State”, but I also don’t think it’s in the same class as the other one. Of course, maybe I’m just bitter because, as much as I like the Shins, my life didn’t change a whole lot after first hearing them. Except I tried to make people listen to the Shins all the time, so maybe that was the change.

    And maybe “Garden State” just makes us all nostalgic for the same imaginary mp3 playlist.

  8. didofoot

    garden state heralds a return to sincerity in art making, as it completely fails to notice or care about its many cliches. sadly this is a false herald which will be largely ignored by the insincere art-making world. snigger away, wallace and pynchon.

  9. didofoot

    also, natalie portman is really hot.

  10. sean

    I think she’s pretty hot, but she still looks about 16.

    Perhaps that “but” in the previous sentence should be a “because”. Can I get a ruling, Gene?

  11. Danny

    After all the fanatic praise I’ve heard spoken of Garden State, Sean, you’ve convinced me. When’s the next showing?

  12. shana

    Garden state was oviously horrible.

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