The Lad comes home in four days — almost three days now — and while from the ankles up I am calm as a toad, my feet cannot be controlled and are flapping excitedly every chance they get. My feet are the untrained puppies of my body.
I’m worried about the readjustment process when he comes back. I know he’s been out picking up all kinds of trivia; I’m a little nervous about the geyser of facts heading my way. And I sleep diagonal now; will he want a whole side of the bed to himself? Also, this sex thing — what is it? Will I like it? I hear it’s fun but sticky, like a sushi party at Michele’s. Does it involve wasabi? I just don’t know.