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Not every bricklayer is a hero

Posted by on March 30, 2004

Kids who bring guns to school are now officially classified as terrorists. I imagine this linguistic crime is committed by those pale-complected men who spend their time in beige rooms, inscrutable, cigar-smoking, with the English language bent stuttering and scared over a table in front of them while they perform on her the unthinkable.

And each day sees a new lexigraphic travesty on the newsstands as ordinary citizens are classed as heroes or terrorists, sheep or goats, and English is locked up so far from the sun she has forgotten all the shades of meaning in the world; now there is only pale or beige, beige or pale, and she loses vocabulary like fluid oozing out of frightened pores.

Who will take back the night for English? And when that happens, when that (let us say) man comes stumbling out of the beige building, English swooning in his massive arms, trailing lost vocabulary like kidnapped children, will we call him a hero and kill English right there in plain sight of the world?

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