I think we should get formal pictures taken, I say.
Formal pictures? You mean, like, with sequins? And a corsage?
No. Like with a photography studio in Sears.
The Lad grimaces predictably. But why would we want pictures of ourselves looking fake? he says.
We are a beautiful couple, I tell him sternly. The world needs to know.
But we’re out in the world right now, he says. Look, here we are. Hello, world! We are very good looking! Hi, could we get some more chips? Thanks.
The waiter brings more chips. The Lad says, What if I set the camera up with a remote and we take pictures of ourselves?
I say, This would lack the stiff, unnatural quality I require in formal photographs.
Is there anything I could get you instead? the Lad asks desperately.
I think about this. My enchilada comes. I say, You could get me a Lego set.
He says, A Lego set would show the world that we’re attractive?
No, I say, but it would distract me.
Yeah? he says, brightening. Okay. A Lego set is a great trade.
A real Lego set, I say suspiciously. One of the castle ones. Not just tiny cinder blocks and miniature pieces of plywood.
It’s a deal, he says, so cheerfully that I am certain I should have demanded more.