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I’d like to thank the fans, if we had any…

Posted by on January 7, 2004

I was surprised and delighted to receive my recent Oscar for my moving portrayal of A Screaming Victim in the sleeper hit Superfreaks! The awards committee held a special session to issue the award after Superfreaks! finished its limited run in Taiwan. Thanks to everyone who made this possible, but especially Stan, my loving husband of thirty-eight years, and God, who is a busy guy but who always keeps an eye on me because I am an incredibly fascinating and deserving performer.

We are nearly done filming our current arthouse darling, Fjords! The Musical, in which I portray a murderous French maid. Currently no plans have been made to release this film to the public. This will only make it more attractive to the indie crowd, all of whom will be claiming to own bootleg copies of it. Rumors that the Beatles are reforming in order to write a title track for the film are false, but the studio has confirmed that Beethoven will be returning from the dead to score several key scenes, as will Sonny Bono.

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