What I imagine it’s like to be Kim J

Last night my Astronomy professor, who is young and new to his trade, brought candy for the class as sort of a pre-emptive apology for next week’s midterm. All through the lecture, I watched the teeny tiny skater boys in front of me dropping stick after stick from their Tootsie Pops ™ on the floor for someone else to pick up later. I was enraged. So enraged that I failed to gain a proper understanding of triangulation. Finally, one of them dropped his stick and I kicked the back of his chair so hard that his head snapped forward a little bit. He turned around.

“Oops,” I said sweetly.

I got over the thrill of dropping stuff on the ground when I was about eight months old. It is sad to see that the youth of today is so spiritually stunted. And suffering slightly from whiplash.