Ballad for Brian Danny (a.k.a. Dick Bag, Jr.)

The Asian You

I dreamt of you last night

You had gotten in a fight

But you used your barbed-wire bangs to win the day

Today out of the blue

This Chinese guy looked just like you

I guess I saw the Asian you today

CHORUS:

Yes, I know you’re Caucasian

But you do look like this Asian

And this Asian on occasion looks like you

It really was alarming

He was half as tall, but nothing’s arming

Me against this charming Asian you

His eyes wide in their sockets

His cheeks were empty pockets

He did that starving model look you do

I couldn’t look away

I didn’t know quite what to say

I stared back at the lovely Asian you

I know I said I’d take

Your old guitar from your apartment mates

And keep it safe while you are out of town

But I never did go get it

And this Asian won’t let me forget it

Now I guess I’ll have to take him down

This will be a double sin

First your stuff and then your twin

But the guilt is really eating me away

And you know I miss you, Bri

But your foreign fetch must die

I guess I killed the Asian you today

FINAL CHORUS:

Though I know that you’re Caucasian

Could it be you’re half Malaysian?

Cause this Asian’s really brazenly like you

I sure hope you’re not back sooner

Than you said, or I killed Dick Bag, Jr.

‘Stead of just amazin’ Asian you