Friends, you have read many of my complaints about my frustrating government job at a certain unnamed California university. Well this week, I finally decided to do something about it. I joined the circus.
After an eight hour intensive course in acrobatics, I auditioned for the Cirque du Soleil’s new show, Zut!, a controversial acrobatic extravaganza which is performed entirely in the nude. There are many comic bits involving trapeze artists and painfully smooshed testicles. It will be a hoot. My role is the naked clown perched on top of the human pyramid.
During our first rehearsal I made so many mistakes that I was nearly expelled from the group. You would think it would be really easy to climb a pyramid of naked humans, since there are more handholds, but you would think wrong. At last, however, I managed to clamber my way to the top perfectly, and stood proudly naked, my white skin gleaming in the stage lights. Say, I thought, eyeing my stomach which shone like a diamond, maybe it’s okay to not be tanned. Secure in myself and my position atop the pyramid, I was at last fair and balanced.