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Call For Papers

Posted by on August 12, 2003

I have decided it’s time to get an enormous tattoo on my back. This will consist of a beautiful, wise, personally meaningful yet universally appealing quotation from one of my favorite authors, set in an attractive font snaking sideways up my spine.

But what to choose? There have been so many phrases over my lifetime which have been important to me. For example, who can forget that cloudy Seattle day when Adam Miller dubbed me (in the words of the immortal Red Hot Chili Peppers) a “rollercoaster…of love”? And that is only the beginning. There are Debbie Gibson lyrics, Luann punch lines, taglines from commercials…the only difficulty will be settling on just one incredibly meaningful sentence. And then translating it into Chinese or Japanese characters.

Please help me out, gentle readers. The only thing that will make this tattoo more significant will be knowing that its inspiration came from a bored stranger who was searching the internet for pictures of the singer Dido’s feet.

Hey, what about a Dido lyric? “I want to thank you, [person reading my spine,] for making this the best day-ay of my life.”

20 Responses to Call For Papers

  1. michele

    giggle. i was working on drawing dragonflies this morning and i got an email from nuala expressing interest in me calling yutaro for an appt for HER back. if we ALL get tattoos, i will be delighted.

  2. sean

    From Coolio: “If you can’t stand the heat, get the hell out da kitchen – we on a mission.”

    From Sandler: “Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair!”

    From For Better or for Worse: “This is not actually a punchline- we think people give a rat’s ass about what’s new with Michael’s gas station-owning friend.”

    From Faulkner: “It was the river and the water and the grass and the smell the smell and the antebellum South and the whiskey and the anxiety about miscegenation and Caddy smelled like trees.”

    From Holohan: “Boy howdy.”

  3. jade

    “Carpe Dido”

    (Seize the Kristen)

  4. didofoot

    So far Jade is winning, although I am nervous about putting a potentially painful imperative on my back.

  5. tracy

    One Two Three Giovanni.


    Knock Knock Retard.

  6. jason

    How about, “If you can read this, a little more to the left.”

  7. me

    “Spiders are relatively nutritious, but they tickle when they go down.”

    Otherwise, I opt for Jason’s suggestion.

  8. Walter

    “Those were the good ol’ days… may they never come again” –W.C. Fields

  9. dianna

    “you smell funny.”

  10. didofoot

    thank you for putting that in quotes.

  11. holohan

    “nobuddy killt him, he just died.”

    “there’s nothing sadder than a sad japanese man.”

    “see other side for breasts.”


    “guido calabresi ate my balls.”

    “kilroy was down there.”

  12. walter

    “I don’t care if it’s dead… I’m gonna fuck it”

  13. didofoot

    jason suggested that since my favorite author is michael ondaatje, and since he (jason) is basically against getting words tattooed on me, I should get an image representing ondaatje. like a picture of a burned man. or, I countered, I could just get the skin of my back tattooed to look burned.

  14. jade

    and then under it, say: “This is not a burn.” (a la Magritte/Foucault)

  15. didofoot

    “steal this back”

  16. jade

    “I’m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.”

    – e e cummings

  17. jade

    actually that’s just a salient quote for me…but perhaps it applies to you too 🙂

  18. didofoot

    “hard hearted harbringer of haggis”

  19. dianna

    nattering nabob of negativism!

    no, don’t get that tattooed on yourself. it’s just a great phrase, is all.

  20. robyn

    Three steps to getting a tat, on your own terms:

    1) Find a language that nobody you know speaks or will ever speak.

    2) Find a good quote, preferably from an early 90’s rapper or Lawerence Ferlinghetti.

    3) Find super-sexy tattoo artist and have him/her tattoo said quote in obscure language. Lie to every person who asks what it means, keeping the true meaning for yourself only.

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