People keep talking to me; I’m starting to wonder if some misguided yet well meaning friend has paid strangers to help me overcome my phobia regarding same. Much the same way that my college roommate’s boyfriend “helped” her overcome her fear of fire by holding her down on the bed and waving a lighter next to her face. If you can believe her that is but I believe everyone. Well anyway people keep talking to me and I cannot account for it. For example on BART, he said I’m stuck and I said I think this one is not a word and he said you’re right and I said I used to do a lot of crossword puzzles. And he said I’m going to PHill and I said oh you look like an Orinda type you look too expensive for PHill. (He had a very small phone.) He said you have beautiful eyes and I said thank you. (I do have beautiful eyes, it’s God’s truth.) He said will you give me your number or maybe your email address and I said oh, oh, I can’t. You can’t he said. Right I said well this is my stop and yours too I guess nice talking to you.
Then today here’s what happened. I was waiting on the corner and another man said smile it’s Friday. (It is.) I said it’s cold I hate the cold. He said I took the bus up we were on the same BART. I said oh uh huh. Well have a nice day he said hopefully. You too I said not having been born in a barn. That was about the size of it.
It’s weird how you can go out in the world and it’s like there’s all these people there expecting to be interacted with. I am beginning to get used to it I guess. Confessing to this phobia seems to have done a good part in conquering it. Unfortunately that’s not always the case, as witness the time I confessed my bug phobia to the Sicilian and he got mad and claimed he himself was afraid of nothing and did not understand it in me and refused to kill my roaches for me and made me cry. What was I thinking there I wonder, for all those months living with a bug loving communist.