Last night I dreamt about the pool my babysitter used to take us to in the summers. One summer we – all twelve kids – discovered a very welcome surprise there: a little girl from another (rival) babysitter who actually wanted to hang out with us. In other words, a torture victim. We spent what seems in memory the entire summer hanging out in the grassy picnic area behind the pool, out of sight of adults, tormenting this poor child. One day we told her we all had evil twins. Then we left, and came back as our twins, and talked trash about our other selves. Left again, came back, demanded to know what the evil twins had said. Then, when she had betrayed the confidence of each and every evil twin, we revealed the startling truth – no twins at all! Just us all the time! Mwah ha ha ha ha! Another time we performed a ritual using her doll. Just give it to us, urged Wendy, later known as Wendy the Wicked. We won’t hurt it. During the sacrifice the doll was accidentally broken. Um, said Wendy the Wicked, thinking fast, Okay, close your eyes and count to twenty and when you open them your doll will be magically fixed. As soon as she closed her eyes, we all booked it out of there of course.
Look, I’m not proud of it.
Come on, like you were a perfect child?
Oh, shut up.