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August 29, 2002
Hey, I just washed that hair.
We all know smoking kills you deader than a bask of crocodiles, right? Folks who smoke are one hundred percent victims of good marketing. There is nothing that says "dumb as a bag of hammers" to me like seeing someone light up, so I'm a little disturbed by how many of my people are doing it all over campus. I mean they are everywhere. And it's not just the dotty frosh either - my friends do it, the Pentavirate does it, hell, even I've done it, and as you know I am real real smart.
It's not like drugs, dig? Drugs have a clear benefit, in that they make you briefly and excitingly stupid. Cigarettes just make you smelly, and p.s., don't tell me they relax you because, son, they are uppers. And if you really need an excuse to hover around that cute girl for fifteen minutes while you work up the nerve to talk to her, why not try a method that doesn't involve ruining her clothes, your teeth, and the air quality for your fifteen stammering bros?
But, um, ranting aside for a second - school is so fun. There are all kindsa people there who aren't caucasianasian, and lots of them are smart, and my teachers care what they're talking about, and I get to write papers and wear a backpack and be not dogmeat anymore. It's like the air I breathe has turned to gold, except in a symbolic, pretty way rather than an actual, death-inducing way.
Posted by didofoot at August 29, 2002 04:58 PM
Comments
eeeeeee! i am so jealous!! except...not of the smoking part. blech. i think we should all know how i feel about that. but so the classes were fun? and it was good to be an sfsu piggy? oh big happy vicarious sigh.
Posted by: michele at August 29, 2002 07:32 PM
i always have a few q-tips on hand. cleaning the ears, in many ways, is like smoking (only without the smoke, the bad breath). it gives the hands something to do, takes your mind off stress, yet much more hygienic.
try it next time you're hovering.
Posted by: earmarc at August 30, 2002 09:39 AM
You have strengthened my resolve to never smoke again.
Oh, and I miss you!!!!
Posted by: tracy at August 30, 2002 10:40 AM
p.s. "caucasianasian" what? half white and half asian? who here's half asian? this racist card is for you!
Posted by: michele at August 30, 2002 11:58 AM
When I'm in an uncomfortable social situation where lighting up might break the ice, I've chosen to instead throw a lick toads. Nothing smooths those social rails like taking a big, fat, warty toad out of your pocket, giving its hinder a big wet one, then raising your eyebrow at the cute person across the way and saying, "Want a taste?"
Posted by: Jacob at August 30, 2002 02:18 PM
mm. dianna is a lucky woman, j.
Posted by: didofoot at August 30, 2002 03:00 PM
I'm especially fond of the surreal typo where I say that I "throw a lick toads." And for your information, Dianna was the cute person across the way that bummed a toad from me.
Just don't tell her that. In fact, let's not speak of this ever again.
Posted by: Jacob at August 30, 2002 07:09 PM
does this have something to do with geurilla poetry
Posted by: josh at February 18, 2005 09:55 AM
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