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August 21, 2002

Oh I just told the biggest fly.

Overheard this yesterday, from a Happy Couple:

GIRL: So are you coming over tonight or not?
BOY: Not sure yet.
GIRL: Well I need to know, so I know whether to dress up or not.
BOY: (Amused) You don't have to dress up for me still.
GIRL: (Convinced) Oh yes I do.
BOY: And why is that, again?
GIRL: Because you catch more flies with honey and you are the biggest fly.

The biggest fly. Hoo. I love it. Elliott Smith is rolling over in his gra - er, bed.

I used to get so mad at boys. I would spend hours steaming my brain over what to wear, and even though I would wind up almost inevitably in jeans, tanktop and boring hairdo, I still put a WHOLE lot of thought into it. I suspect the same was not true for them. To be fair, they probably did do the sniff test on their shirts (although not always successfully, the stinking rodents).

Am I wrong though? Are there straight men who actually get pre-date appearance jitters?

Posted by didofoot at August 21, 2002 11:22 AM

Comments

not really. you pretty much hit on the head with the sniff test comment.

Posted by: marc at August 21, 2002 11:30 AM

i have yet to even consider dressing up nicely for a boy.

crap. except that one time corey was at my house and i wore that really, really short t-shirt to parade around the house in before going to bed. so he would think of me going to bed. not that he followed me into my bed. fucker.

Posted by: michele at August 21, 2002 11:35 AM

I know sumit was all nervous before our first date. In fact he had Eloise and Kate helping him decide what to wear...hee hee

Posted by: nuala at August 21, 2002 11:41 AM

fucking blind coryfuck. i've been there. not with cory. but with the coy hey follow me. but they NEVER DO. prime example: hugh grant in notting hill, she all but drags him into the bedroom yet STILL has to come down and collect him.

Posted by: bitterfoot at August 21, 2002 11:42 AM

oh, well good job sumit. redeeming the gender.

Posted by: mollifiedfoot at August 21, 2002 11:42 AM

sumit's practically a girl anyway.

Posted by: sitting back...waiting for the shit to hit the fan... at August 21, 2002 11:47 AM

oooooh! no you DI-INT!

Posted by: didofight at August 21, 2002 11:49 AM

Man you just so hurt his feelings. And he's so not a girl. To damn male stubborn like to be a girl

Posted by: nuala at August 21, 2002 11:55 AM

what he reads this?

i'm pretty stubborn.....

Posted by: michele at August 21, 2002 12:02 PM

really, the best part is when you're around when he gets dressed, because then you get to WATCH him do the sniff test. and sometimes, you get to participate! woohoo! "Baby, smell this. Does this smell weird to you?"

eventually you just have to ask, How does one body manage to exude enough foul odors to scent-stain a shirt this way?

Posted by: didophew at August 21, 2002 01:18 PM

it's especially gross when the underarms of their shirts turn all yellow and get kind of stiff. that's gross right there. boys are gross.

Posted by: michele at August 21, 2002 01:27 PM

yeeeah...girls get that sometimes too though. but we NEVER smell bad. you know why? one word: scented body lotions, fruity shampoos, perfume and moisterizer. women always smell like flowers and fruits. it's like we're scent-camoflaged, set us down in an orchard, close your eyes and we disappear. poof! like magic.

Posted by: didofruit at August 21, 2002 01:29 PM

......sometimes.....sometimes i smell.....specially after playing baseball.

Posted by: michele at August 21, 2002 01:32 PM

yes. sometimes i smell like pigs. specially after playing with pigs.

Posted by: didofoot at August 21, 2002 01:34 PM

I still, after 16 years, dress up for my man. He still makes sure he isn't ripe in the underarm area. AND he looks so hot and cute all the time. Just lucky, I guess.

Posted by: tracy at August 21, 2002 02:26 PM

wow tracy. rub it in, why dontcha?

Posted by: michele at August 21, 2002 02:29 PM

"blah blah blah regular sex fabulous marriage blah. blah blah ian is strawberry great blah."

well if he's so great how come he doesn't UPDATE HIS BLAWG, eh redhott? answer me THAT if you can.

Posted by: didofoot at August 21, 2002 02:44 PM

and how come he doesn't CANCEL band practice to PLAY baseball with US and YOU. (you who had better be coming.)

Posted by: michele at August 21, 2002 02:45 PM

dood, she's TOTALLY not coming. probably more like going home to have fabulous sex with her fabulous husband. then they will drink virgin daquiris (damn i love me some virgin daquiris) out on the lanai and laugh like this "ha ha ha!" because they are so fabulous and happy.

damn millers with their strawberry happy evenings. ar! SO BITTER, SO BITTER AND ANGRY!

just kidding millers, you know i love you.

Posted by: didovitriol at August 21, 2002 02:49 PM

i updated. :-|

Posted by: ian at August 21, 2002 02:54 PM

You guys are so funny. Strawberry funny!!!

Posted by: tracy at August 21, 2002 02:56 PM

hm...i read fabulous ian's blog...suddenly the "do boys smell; oh lord, do they ever" theme of today's rant seems, what's the word? oh right. stoooopid.

well happy (early) birthday and here's a big virgin daquiri because we're glad you're face-up on the tracks now. slainte.

Posted by: didoshamefaced at August 21, 2002 02:59 PM

I think about what to wear before dates/parties/meetings with girls. Not that I have any fashion sense, but I do think about it. Does that make me gay(er)?

Posted by: Sean at August 21, 2002 10:55 PM

As a gay man, I have the knowledge and authority to say, yes, that does make you gay.

Posted by: jason at August 22, 2002 11:26 AM

it's interesting though, because making yourself as similar to a well-dressed gay man as you possibly can is actually almost guaranteed to get you play with women. because you know women love gay men.

Posted by: didofoot at August 22, 2002 11:32 AM

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