Sun and Super

One good thing that happened yesterday: We went to dinner at Jupiter — always a slightly weird overlap between my past life and my present life, but the beer is good. I have to say, though, I don’t understand how they can serve a pizza topped with bacon and still the pizza tastes like nothing at all. Even I can’t manage that, although it might be better if I did — the last time I served a pizza I thought it would be a good idea to top it with my leftover fresh marjoram, and I don’t know if you’ve ever tasted something that is bad? But if so, you’ve probably got a pretty good idea of how that went. (However, the pizza did get eaten and no one made faces, so probably it was mostly me hating it.)

But anyhow, the good part was sitting in the sun (after a long day of sitting in the sun; I am sort of a burnt umber color now) with people I like tremendously and getting to eat off other peoples’ pizzas.

After this we went to see Super, starring Dwight from The Office, along with the Juno girl and Kevin Bacon (“jump back!”) and some other people. It was surprisingly good, in that it was surprising at all, which you don’t really expect from a superhero movie or a comedy.

One bad thing that happened was that there were some gory bits I had to look away for, but they were mostly gory on my scale of gory, which is a wussy scale. On the other hand, there were also some bunnies. So this bad thing led to a good thing, which is that I’ve decided to embark on a project whereby I do fan edits of all the movies I like, and anytime there is something too violent for me to enjoy, I will replace it with a bunny. Sort of like the Church replacing the private bits of statues with fig leaves, except — and this is important! — bunnies. I believe the world will thank me.

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Dinner Party

Last night I laid awake for a bit considering who I might invite to a dinner party of literary characters, and I thought I would present to you my guest list. This kind of turned into a matchmaker party, so assume that all these characters were somewhere near the beginning of their stories, before they’d met the people they hook up with in the books.

Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice) and George Cooper (Song of the Lioness Quartet)

Lizzie is a proper drawing-room-novel heroine and George is King of Thieves, but other than that I think they’d get on well together. George would be happy to laugh at all Lizzie’s neighbors with her (without being malicious), and Lizzie would probably not scream if she came across George’s ear collection.

Cassandra Mortmain (I Capture the Castle) and Will Stanton (The Dark is Rising Sequence)

Both are sensible and low-drama, possess a good sense of humor and are generally interested in what other people are up to. You could call each of them “consciously naive,” but looking deeper you’d see that Cassandra is a first-class observer of humanity and Will is born of an ancient race destined to save the world from evil. Comparable talents, in my opinion. I don’t think they’d fall in love, but I think they’d have some very good conversations together.

Flora Post (Cold Comfort Farm) and Bertie Wooster (the Jeeves and Wooster books)

Flora loves to tidy people up, and Bertie’s life is decidedly untidy. Obviously, that is what Jeeves is for, but surely Jeeves will eventually want to go off and marry one of the chefs or scullery maids he’s always quietly stepping out with, and then what will become of Bertie? Flora’s meddling is gentle but firm, and she’s not all wet or all ghastly about sports or a malicious prankster like all the other women he’s been engaged to.

Dorothea Brooke (Middlemarch) and Seymour Glass (Nine Stories)

I always felt that serious, dedicated, motivated Dorothea was wasted on Will Ladislaw; he was not nearly her equal in intelligence, maturity or morality. Seymour is obviously smart enough for her, and he has that heart-shattering love of, well, everything, which she would do well to learn. On his part, I think he would be happy with a woman as forthright as Dorothea. And she does occasionally see the humor in things, although not, it must be admitted, a lot. They might have a very intense conversation at one end of the table which no one else would be interested in.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I’m open to suggestions in case I find a genie or a wishing ring and can put this into practice some day.

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Whapping

Evenings like this make me so glad we bought a house that we can cram a bunch of people into:

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If you’re wondering, we’re playing Zombie Clue, wherein zombies spawn on each turn and you try to collect weapons and kill zombies and get back to the Hall. Jon proved to be best at zombie killing, basically just striding through the corridors swinging the Candlestick and whapping zombies out of his way right and left. If the zombie apocalypse ever happens, I know whose house we’re fleeing to. We don’t have any candlesticks to bring, but we have a lot of spatulas. He could probably make it work.

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Brain burn

THIS WEATHER!

I feel like I’ve been buried for several months and I’m only just starting to poke my head out and see what’s going on. I always forget how important it is to my brain to lie in the sun for several hours a day. I mean, it turns my brain to cheese, yes. But that is the state my brain seems to prefer to be in.

Except! Suddenly I am wanting to read all these challenging books and I have ideas for (and am writing) stuff and I am making social arrangements and generally feeling very energized. I am an ant hill, stirred by a stick.

Today Michele and I and probably some other people will be at the Lake Chalet from 3:00 onward. Feel free to come on by if you like weather that is nice and things that are good.

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Strange hat

We have this weird little bathroom downstairs:

downstairsbath.jpg

As you can see, it’s just a toilet in a room. Well, in fact it’s a literal water closet, a closet of water. And it’s the only bathroom downstairs.

Now, this would be a totally acceptable bathroom if it had a sink, but as you can see it’s really too small to put even the smallest sink in there. Except! Gene has discovered this weird thing:

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It’s a sink that sits on top of the toilet! (I realize this is not new technology, but I’ve never been to Japan.) It’s totally clean water, though I admit it does look a little off-putting before you think about it. Also, since the bathroom is so small, we wouldn’t be able to get the sideways version — you’d have to lean over the toilet to wash your hands.

So the question is: strange and off-putting? Or much better than having to go out and wash your hands in the kitchen sink? On the whole, I think having a sink in the bathroom is always better, no matter how small or difficult to reach it may be, but I’m willing to be talked out of it.

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Strategy

I was reading this and I’m just going to throw this out there: my best worst pickup line, when I had a use for such things, was pretty consistently “Are you waiting for your girlfriend or are you going to buy me a drink?” But when in a hurry, I would also go with “So, are you going to ask me out or what?”

Note the passive-aggressiveness AND the aggressive-aggressiveness, because I’m particularly proud of those.

Did it work? Yes, yes it did. Which I think proves that if you are a girl who a guy has already been checking out, you can basically just make vowel sounds at him until he buys you dinner.

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‘Your natter’s devoid of all matter,’ I mutter

Last night Gene and I cooked our dinner out-of-doors for the first time in a while. It is lovely to have a yard of our own. “How do you like your land, squire?” I asked him.

“I like it,” he said, roaming around and yanking up weeds, even though they’re growing on top of the mulch that will have to be plowed up anyway. It’s his landowner’s instinct, I believe. Before you know it he will be preserving cover for the foxes and throwing a summer fete and demanding I take a more active role in the village school.

Well, as you can see, I am hip-deep in Victorian novels presently. In fact, I forgot to blog yesterday, so occupied was I in sitting outside in the sun and reading Tess of the D’Urbervilles. But today a big stupid cloud has rolled in and I have nothing to do but natter at you.

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True

Me: Have you guys been applying yourselves to that keg?

Rob: What the hell kind of stupid question is that?

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One good way

A good way to lose all your oldest friends would be this: to go through all the old comments on your blog where they were being super funny at each other and stick those comments into a novel, making them into thinly disguised “fictitious” conversations, and then try and get the novel published, thus profiting off their casual wit.

But if that doesn’t appeal, that is just one good way to lose all your oldest friends. I can think of more.

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Good news

Gene and I have known each other for 17 years, been together for 8.5, lived together for 6.5, and now that we’re finally married, I’m sure you’ve all been asking yourselves, When are they going to get around to this already?

Well, I’m happy to finally be able to announce to y’all that the time is here.

Yes, we are taking the next logical step as a couple and…buying some camping equipment of our very own.

(Ohhh, the moms is so NOT LAUGHING right now.)

But seriously, this is a big step! We will be using these tents and therma-rests and sleeping bags and stuff for the next many years, so we need to pick right. Does anyone have suggestions? Retailers, brands, types? I’m open to ideas, and so is Carthage, unless we get spam-attacked and Gene has to close comments again.

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