So…it turns out that my copy of Beauty and the Beast includes a whole new song I have never seen before, plus a new scene wherein it is revealed that the Beast is basically illiterate. Both scene and song are fairly terrible.
Where did this come from, though? Is it possible my films have been writing themselves new scenes, because they have minds of their own, because they’re actually humans who have been enchanted to look like DVDs? I guess that makes me a horrible monster with anger-management issues. Which, considering I just complained about adding more Disney magic to a Disney movie, seems like an explanation that might fit.