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My doctor said “bronchitis” but all I heard was “vindication.”

Posted by on November 14, 2011

You know how as soon as the mechanic opens the hood and listens for the pinging noise, your car absolutely refuses to do it anymore? It’s the same for me and doctors, kind of. As soon as I make an appointment to see a doctor, I start feeling better. I start thinking “Don’t waste this person’s time, you big faker! There’s nothing really wrong with you.” I mean, a cold could just be allergies. The flu could just be food poisoning. An ear infection could just be me grinding my teeth a lot when I sleep (really, it’s a thing).

So today I made an appointment and immediately my ear and throat started feeling better and by the time I was sitting with the nurse I actually found myself faking a cough a few times, because I was embarrassed by how my “chronic cough” had suddenly evaporated.

But there’s good news, friends: I am sick! I mean, I know bronchitis is just a fancy way of saying “You have yuck in your pipes,” but it sounds so official and real that I am pleased. Also, ear infection. YES! Take THAT, stupid inner gym coach who will not let me go to the doctor! I AM SO PLEASED.



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