Okay, I thought of a reason why I might have woken up sad yesterday and the day before that, which is that on the day before that, my grandpa died.
And I didn’t mention it because this is hardly the place for that sort of thing (i.e. things that are serious, things that are private, or things that actually happened), but now it’s received this slightly funny (to me) aspect, which is that it took me three days to make the connection between someone dying and me feeling sad. I’m kind of dumb sometimes.
Anyway now I’m thinking about it, and so I’m just going to talk about this one memory, which is that when my younger cousins and I were kids and would go over to our grandparents’ house, my grandpa would sometimes have us all line up in front of him and do jumping jacks while he counted them out army-style. “And one! And two! And three!” and so on. And then when he was tired of the whole trailer shaking from our noise he would say “Annnnd halt, one, two!” And we would all collapse to the ground with the largest possible thump. I like this memory because it’s the last time I can remember wanting to be really heavy and loud.
Rest in peace, Gramps.