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Posted by on August 31, 2010

The kitchen in our new house is going to need a little updating eventually. I was browsing around looking for ideas and came across an article entitled “Smart Appliances — Ovens and Refrigerators That Think for You.”


This is not an Onion article. These are real appliances. There’s a fridge which can play DVDs and forecast the weather. An oven that offers cooking tips. (I’m picturing the pre-recorded voice of Gilbert Godfrey yelling “You’re doing it wrong! YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!”) Another oven which can be controlled over the Internet or your cell phone — based, of course, on NASA technology. (Women are allowed to be astronauts now, and their families deserve a hot meal even on days that they’re riding the space shuttle.)

Hasn’t anybody seen The Matrix? Why do humans do this to themselves? One day your fridge is predicting the weather, the next day it’s enslaving the human race. Learn from your fictitious mistakes, people!

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