Valentine: A Retrospective

We all agree: boys have a hard time figuring out what to get their girlfriends for Valentine’s Day. And girlfriends everywhere are baffled by this.

Guys, it’s so easy. If it’s pretty, soft, fragrant, tasty, expensive, sexy or shiny, it’s good. If it’s something you would get your dad, it’s bad.

Girls, it’s so easy. If he deigns to celebrate this stupid, trumped-up holiday at all, he’s great. If not, he’s probably still pretty good.

By the way, girls, if you expect a gift you’d better be prepared to give one. This ain’t Sex and the City.

This year I got Gene a Barbie card and a six dollar book. He bought me a laptop. It’s red. Valentine themed!

Lust.