The numbers you’ve all been waiting for. I’m sure.

Harper’s did it first…

Sean did it best…

But I’m doing it now…

Our Europe Trip rendered in the style of Harper’s Index

Number of films watched in movie theaters: 14

Number which were V for Vendetta: 3

Revolutions worth having that did not include dancing: 0

Number of people who gave up their beds for us: 7

Percentage who are over the age of eighty: 16%

Approximate number of anti-American sentiments we heard expressed: 57

Percentage which were uttered by me: 100%

Number of couples prevented by our presence from hooking up: 3

Number of couples we pretty much caused to break up: 1

Number of days I mentally thanked Michele for convincing me to pack an extra pair of jeans: 70

Number of times we did laundry: 10

Number of times I do laundry at home in a 70-day period: 2

Number of books I packed: 2

Number of books I brought home: 12

Percentage of fights the Lad and I had which related to who would carry my traveling library: 100%

Number of fights the Lad and I had: 1

Percentage of our hosts who owned televisions: 37%

Percentage of our hosts who had high-speed internet access: 56%

Percentage of our hosts who were communists/anarchists: 12%