Honeymoon II: Bear trouble

Our first night camping was spent in Jedediah Smith campground, where a cat-burglar bear had apparently been wreaking havoc. We were warned in no uncertain terms never to leave any food or scented lotion or anything outside the bear box, not even in the trunk of the car.

That’s the bear box off to the right.

Three a.m.

Kris: “Are you awake?”

Gene: “Mmphm.”

Kris: “ARE YOU AWAKE?”

Gene: “Mm?”

Kris: “We brought our water bottle in the tent with us!”

Gene: “Mm.”

Kris: “What if the bear smells it?”

Gene: “It won’t.”

Kris: “What if the bear is thirsty?”

Gene: “It’s not.”

Kris: “What if the bear rips through the tent with one massive paw, mortally wounding your wife in the process, in order to get at this water?”

Gene: “It won’t.”

Kris: “Go put the water bottle outside the tent. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go.”

Gene: [Flings arm across wife in a surprisingly effective half-cuddling, half-muffling maneuver.]

Kris: [Waits til he’s asleep again and then sneaks the water bottle over to his side of the tent. Just in case.]

In the morning, we went for a little walk to the other side of the campground where there turned out to be a massive river where a bear could theoretically have obtained all the water it needed. But that bear might have been too lazy to walk all the way over there! That water bottle was an incitement to bear violence, I tell you.

Your wife knows what’s up, buddy.

More pictures here.