Today’s episode was brought to you by the letter F.

I have just discovered that in England, ‘lieutenant’ is pronounced LEF-tenant.

See? This, this is what made me crazy when I was in England and trying to have a normal conversation.

“Do you read Wodehouse?”

“It’s pronounced Woodhouse.”

“Have you been to Gloucester?”

“It’s pronounced Gloster.”

“Magdalen college is really pretty.”

“It’s pronounced Maudlin.”

And then I feel like an idiot even though clearly the blame lies elsewhere.

But this really is the last straw. You can’t just go throwing an ‘f’ into the middle of a word, England! An F-bomb, absofuckinglutely. But not just the letter ‘f’!

…All right, excellent. I’ve gotten today’s inappropriate anger out of the way already, and now I can just be a happy manatee until Monday. Have a great weekend, Gentle Readers!