At the grocery store today I was loading my items onto the conveyor belt when the check-out guy in the next aisle leaned over to my check-out guy and started urgently talking to him. “Just calm down,” said not-my-guy. “Calm right on down. Everything’s going to be cooool, man. No need to get upset.”
I looked at my guy, who had seemed to be dealing with the customer in front of me in a relaxed, ordinary way, and at the other check-out guy, who seemed really worried that my guy was about to lose his mind. Usually you can tell who the crazy is but in this case I wasn’t sure. And as I was about to spend a couple of minutes standing with my back to one of them, this was a real problem for me.
I’ll save you the suspense and just tell you now that I didn’t get sliced with a safety razor or anything. But I was able to eventually identify the crazy, which was the other check-out guy, because I remembered while I was paying my bill that I’ve had that other guy before and sometimes he sings about my asparagus.