Monthly Archives: December 2004
Sometimes a meatball sub is just a meatball sub
Last night, I decided to trick you into having lunch with me, so I bought you a meatball sub. I know you could never turn down a meatball sub. I went to your office (mysteriously located on the College Park campus) but you were out, so there I was stuck with a meatball sub leaking … Continue reading
Sara plain and banal
“Do you know what I’m thinking right now?” I say. “Nope,” says the Lad. “I’m thinking, ‘This is our first Christmas tree together,’” I say. “Oh,” he says, “yeah. I did know that. I can feel it seeping from your every pore.” Moment of silence while we hang paper stars. “I took the bus to … Continue reading
Retardosity
Today, from retardosity, I spent way too much money on ingredients for candy-making and learned some important lessons about cookery. It turns out that some kinds of chocolate mixtures will come out of a candy mold nicely, while other kinds will stick to the mold stubbornly and refuse to come loose and eventually you have … Continue reading
Leavin’
As of January 18, I will be a free and unemployed woman. Please enjoy this small tribute to my past two years of employment at the good old U of C at B. (To the tune of “Leaving’s not leaving,” by Leann Rimes, a song I have never actually heard): Sometimes the time comes along … Continue reading
Disneyland
Disneyland was, as it should be, a highly surreal experience. The peak of this is Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, in which you, as Toad, take a threatening journey culminating when you die in an explosion of dynamite. The ride then moves into a Hell room complete with small furious demons and a leering cartoon Satan. … Continue reading