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Monthly Archives: October 2003

What I imagine it’s like to be Kim J

Last night my Astronomy professor, who is young and new to his trade, brought candy for the class as sort of a pre-emptive apology for next week’s midterm. All through the lecture, I watched the teeny tiny skater boys in front of me dropping stick after stick from their Tootsie Pops ™ on the floor … Continue reading »

Categories: General | 8 Comments

My plastic elastic head

It’s tough to wrap my plastic elastic head around this “forever” concept. I keep thinking, Oh God, it’s so sad, Elliott Smith is dead and there will be no more music. But then I comfort myself by thinking, At least there will be music again when he stops being dead.

Categories: General | 5 Comments

Yeah, I heard.

Thanks to everyone who saw the news and thought to let me know.

Categories: General | 2 Comments

Recent Protests

Sources close to the White Apartment have reported that domestic discontent is on the rise. The Nation of Me’s controversial hug sanctions of July have given rise to increasing malcontentism and schizophrenia among the citizen of the Nation of Me. A large crowd of demonstrators gathered in the Left Brain on Saturday at the UN … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: | 3 Comments

Uh huh.

“And if you go way, way back in ancient Chinese texts, you find references to this all over the place,” said my cowboy boss. “It’s the reason that Chinese people tend to have a bigger gap between their thumbs and first fingers.” “So, what you’re telling me is…” “Way back in B.C., Chinese people had … Continue reading »

Categories: General | 1 Comment

A small, surly gnome

Written in response to this article, which really should be read first. Will teens stop using electricity? I first heard about using my parents’ electricity in middle school. Up until that point, I had assumed that my television and toaster were being run by a small, surly gnome that lived in the wall. But in … Continue reading »

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Ballad for Brian Danny (a.k.a. Dick Bag, Jr.)

The Asian You I dreamt of you last night You had gotten in a fight But you used your barbed-wire bangs to win the day Today out of the blue This Chinese guy looked just like you I guess I saw the Asian you today CHORUS: Yes, I know you’re Caucasian But you do look … Continue reading »

Categories: General | Tags: , | 7 Comments