Tagged With: Dumb Kris
Gandalf the White
After spending five minutes yanking white hairs out of my head, I’m starting to think my window for having kids has closed. It’s not so much that I’m old; it’s just that if I can spend that long staring at myself in the mirror, I’m certainly too self-absorbed to pay attention to another person 24 … Continue reading
The Whole New Shirt Olympics
Gold medal: Rummaging through your rag bin and finding a perfectly good shirt that you tossed in there two years ago because you decided it looked bad on you. The good news: you were wrong. It’s like getting a whole new shirt! Silver medal: Finally tidying up the pile of clothes on your closet floor … Continue reading
Home Alone
I read a chapter of Mansfield Park out loud in my best British accent (think Winona Ryder’s accent in Dracula). I sing the last three lines of “Unforgettable” over and over because that’s the only part I know. I play M.I.A.’s “Bad Girls” on repeat about 60 times because I am enjoying it so much. … Continue reading
Source material
While having dinner at Jacob’s on Sunday we somehow got into a riff about Gene’s interest in Ridley Scott, which ended in a joke about how all his sex ed came from Ridley Scott movies. I went right along with this. Later on I got home and looked this guy up and apparently the sex … Continue reading
Spice it up
This has been a week of showing people around the house for the first time. It’s not until you give a tour that you start to look at your everyday items with a critical eye. You begin to wonder what people think about — to take an example completely at random — the container of … Continue reading
Pinteresting
Every now and then I’ll be surfing Pinterest and I’ll think “What a perfect autumn outfit that is!* I need to get something like that.” And then I’ll look down and realize I, too, am wearing a cozy sweater in fall colors and kickass boots. Or I’ll moon over recipes for soups and stews and … Continue reading
Immaculate perception
Just told my yard guy that I’ll be inside while he works, but that he should feel free to “knock me up” if he needs anything. Obviously I meant he should knock on the door and I would come down. That was clear, right?
Pop quiz
If you are having mild stomach cramps, you should: A. Eat half a cheese pizza and watch Speed. B. Eat half a cheese pizza and watch Doctor Who. C. Eat half a cheese pizza and watch every episode of Very Mary Kate. I’m thinking B? Only one way to find out, I guess.
The pop-up
London was in the midst of a heat wave for the first week or so of our visit. Mind you, that didn’t stop it from dropping the occasional rain on us. Here you see me in my summery dress, protecting myself from this absurd sky-water the English insist on having: … Continue reading
Deathmeat
Gene: “I want to make those chicken things for dinner tonight.” Kris: “Wait, the ones that were frozen and then thawed and then you put them back in the freezer? No. I keep forgetting to throw those out. We have to throw them out right now.” Gene: “I think it’ll be fine.” Kris: “You can’t … Continue reading