Monthly Archives: October 2004
A guy walks into an office and says…
This guy just walked into my office. He was about student age, dressed in student clothes, and clutching some student-type documentation, but was not actually a student. “Do you know where I can get help with Microsoft Access?” he asked. “Next door,” I said. Our office is right next to the computer guys, so we … Continue reading
I’ll put a cap in his ass, all right.
So there’s this guy at work who about a year ago I made the mistake of teasing about his hat. I think it was one of those safari hats which I myself am so fond of, but it might have been a cowboy hat or a baseball hat or even a viking helmet, I don’t … Continue reading
Sock puppets, but not the Flea kind
My parents finally got a new dog who they’ve named after Sean’s youngest sister. It’s my hope that this mortal insult will make his family return our Scattergories game. So far it’s not working, though it’s possible that neighborhood gossip just hasn’t reached their house yet. Our Molly is another black lab mix, which leads … Continue reading
By the pricking of my thumbs…
The past few days have been full of portents. Spiders, blood, and at Wednesday’s poker game I kept winning with the dead man’s hand. Then this morning I came biking toward myself on Hearst, and the biker’s face didn’t resolve itself into a stranger’s until just before the bike passed me. Yet, weirdly, absolutely nothing … Continue reading
A brief description of President Bush as if he were my sub-par breakfast muffin
Thick, kind of crumby, and (judging from the stains on the bag), has strong ties to the oil industry. Makes me sick to my stomach with artificialness. Expensive. Cleverly packaged. Usually surrounded by at least eleven others of the same type. Horribly dense. Bad for children and other living things. And to make it worse, … Continue reading
The A-SUCK, folk songs, and girls with squeaky voices
My family and I went to the memorial service for free speech being held in Sproul Plaza today. I particularly enjoyed the participation of the ASUC. Now pay attention, Alanis, because this is ironic. The ASUC recently gave our own Holohan a cartload of grief over his campaign speech, yet today they were proudly blahing … Continue reading
Everyone and the Lad’s sister is doing it
I recently attended the Lad’s sister’s wedding. Watching Em and Geoff stand in front of everyone they love and speak their self-written vows made me realize that I can never, ever, in a million years be brave enough to display that much sincerity (i.e. any at all) in front of a gathering of my peers. … Continue reading