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January 18, 2007
Watching Beauty and the Beast with the Lad, who was forced into it despite manly objections
"Be Our Guest" Number
Me: You know, if I had an entire cast of singing, dancing flatware to charm and impress people with, I could make beautiful young girls fall in love with me too.
Beast shows Belle the library
Lad: [in falsetto] Oh, the books are so beautiful! Can I start organizing them right away?
Belle teaches Beast to feed the birds
Lad: It would be awesome if, while her back was turned, the beast ate that blue bird.
Me: And then to make him feel comfortable, she grabbed another bird and ate it herself.
Angela Landsbury is a singing teapot
Me: She's come a long way since The Manchurian Candidate.
Posted by didofoot at January 18, 2007 11:00 AM
Comments
How much did it suck for the enchanted servants? Simply because their boss was an enormous asshole, they get turned into anthropomorphic household items for an entire decade. Their collective self-esteem drops so low that their sole joy in life comes from waiting on people.
Lumière sings, "Life is so unnerving/For a servant who's not serving/ He's not whole without a soul to wait upon". He really ought so sing, "It sucks when your boss is such a dick/ You get turned into a candlestick/ I'm burning that prick with my wick next time I see him."
"Ah, those good old days when we were useful...and had bodies. Oh God, my hands are candles! All my friends, my family - transformed to hideous kitchenware. Just kill me, Belle! I can't live as a candlestick for a single day longer! Please make this horror end!"
Posted by: sean at January 23, 2007 12:51 PM
I also like how letting Belle go back to her father proves that the beast is no longer selfish, even though it means he condemns a castleful of people to live as household implements for all eternity.
Posted by: didofoot at January 23, 2007 01:03 PM
Yeah, but come on, they're just servants! Servants don't need to have lives of their own, they are nourished merely by their master's happiness. They might get to fuck around with the feather duster every now and then to pass the time, but there's no option for long term love or autonomy.
Posted by: robyn at January 23, 2007 02:01 PM
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