« I am hungry. | Main | My conversation with The World's Angriest Man »
January 11, 2006
I cannot feed on people to survive! [Sees person. Eats person.] Augh!
When Anne Rice writes the plot and Elton John writes the music, I dunno, maybe some mental alarm bells should go off. Nevertheless, Michele and I cheerfully coughed up $40 apiece for back-row seats at Lestat.
--------
That is how far I got on that entry before I went to cook dinner and wound up setting the kitchen on fire. It turns out there was some tinfoil left in the broiler from my last cooking attempt.
In our house, gender roles are clearly defined and fire falls in the man category. "Don, the broiler is on fire," I called once I noticed it.
"Do you want to put it out, then?" he asked.
"No," I said, "I am too pretty for burn scars. You do it."
After the fire--and let me tell you, a kitchen fire is a hell of a time to discover that your home has no fire extinguisher--I had to go hide under the covers for about a half hour. Clearly the world, or at least the kitchen, was out to get me and I was not about to present more of a target than necessary. I left it to the Lad to scrub the burn marks off the oven door, because in our house cleaning of any kind falls in the man category. ("I am too pretty to allow my hands to be abraded by a rough sponge," I said. "You do it.")
Today I'm walking warily and watching the skies for falling pianos. In my family, any positive milestone such as my recent graduation is just an excuse for the universe to brain you. Though surely Lestat was punishment enough to last me the rest of my days.
Posted by didofoot at January 11, 2006 10:53 AM
Comments
Were the lyrics by Tim Rice?
Posted by: jason at January 11, 2006 11:29 AM
the guy who wrote "rocket man"!
Posted by: michele at January 11, 2006 11:32 AM
No, Tim Roth. No! Tim Curry! Tim Robbins? Tom Robbins! Lyrics by Tom Robbins!
Lyrics by a flock of robins pecking at a computer keyboard. No, wait, that's this post.
Posted by: Dianna at January 11, 2006 01:18 PM
That`s it, no more holes in Dianna.
Posted by: jason at January 11, 2006 02:23 PM
This comment thread has ADD.
Posted by: Attention-Deficit Dianna at January 11, 2006 02:43 PM
No, no, it's Attention: Dianna Disorder. And I don't have any extra holes in me yet. I'm sure if I did I'd be much more rational and on-topic.
Posted by: Dianna at January 11, 2006 05:06 PM
Post a comment
Thanks for signing in, . Now you can comment. (sign out)
(If you haven't left a comment here before, you may need to be approved by the site owner before your comment will appear. Until then, it won't appear on the entry. Thanks for waiting.)