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July 20, 2005
That'll do, pig
I walk around the Mission surrounded by girls shaped like good asparagus. Vegans, the lot of them. Don't they have to be? How else do you achieve that level of fleshlessness? These girls answer the question of who could possibly wear that sack you saw hanging at the back of Goodwill or Anthropologie and make it look good. Instead of a full skeletal structure, they just have one long bone that branches a little into limbs like a tree. A sapling tree. They are skinny, I'm saying.
I have never felt like such a solid girl, filled as I am with meat and cheese. I comfort myself with visions of how thin I will be after a few more months of walking to and from work (not much exercise but still 100% more than I was getting before). I comfort myself with a BBQ bacon cheese burger with extra burger. I comfort myself with the knowledge that I am not actually a rhino except in comparison with these little veggie-munchers.
My hand resting on my stomach doesn't rest on my spine. Maybe it's better to have a little human padding. Maybe it's better to eat a little pig.
Posted by didofoot at July 20, 2005 06:11 PM
Comments
Damn. Now I want a bbq bacon cheese burger! Damn you!
Posted by: nuala at July 20, 2005 09:23 PM
Obviously I am not a stick figure.
Posted by: nuala at July 20, 2005 09:23 PM
What the devil does being vegan have to do with it? You and your meat are more petite than I and my broccoli anyway. Now shush and eat your BBQ bacon cheesethingy, or no more muffins for you.
Posted by: Dianna at July 20, 2005 11:04 PM
"You and your meat are more petite." I hope that makes it into Bartlett's.
Posted by: jason s at July 21, 2005 08:05 AM
hee hee. i almost titled this post "the dianna girls."
Posted by: didofoot at July 21, 2005 10:26 AM
but don't take my muffins away though. please do not remove the muffins. they make nice little pillows for the pig.
Posted by: didofoot at July 21, 2005 04:58 PM
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