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November 01, 2004
Wait til I tell you what the Smurfs were about...
"What most people don't realize," I said, "is that Strawberry Shortcake is the modern version of an ancient Roman fertility goddess to whom strawberries were sacred."
"I thought it was a doll named after a dessert?" said whoever I was talking to.
"Sure, they had to mainstream her," I said, "but think about it: dessert? Baking? Bun in the oven? Fertility. Do you think it's a coincidence?"
"Uh..."
"And consider the significance of the strawberry," I said, warming up. "If this were a body part, what would it be? Small, red? What body part has been compared to rosebuds and cherries and so on? I'll give you a hint: Eve Ensler would know exactly what I'm talking about."
"So, Strawberry Shortcake is..."
"A cunt goddess. That's right."
"So what about My Little Ponies? What's the story there?"
"Well, I'm glad you asked..."
Posted by didofoot at November 1, 2004 11:44 AM
Comments
2 points for mentioning dessert and cunt in the same blog post.
Posted by: Dianna at November 1, 2004 11:53 AM
5 points for making the word cunt seem almost clean when paired with goddess.
Posted by: adrienne at November 1, 2004 04:05 PM
So is it a boy or a girl? When's the shotgun wedding?
No points from me for the dessert cunt. Not like they're such disparate subjects. This comment is editable, right? Cause man am I drunk.
Posted by: danny at November 2, 2004 12:01 AM
This Halloween seemed unusually devoted to cunts.
Kristin was a cunt godess,
Kristina militant ensemble included what those in the armed forces call a 'cunt cap,'
And all this gave me an excuse to tell a funny story that involves a word I don't usually like to say, which I will now tell again for fun:
My friend Andy was acting in a show in San Diego - 'Once in a Lifetime,' by Kaufman and Hart.
His costar and the other leading lady would have huge screaming Diva-fights all the time, and get really bitchy and nasty.
Andy renamed the show, "Cunts in a Lifetime."
Posted by: kati at November 2, 2004 01:01 AM
I'm not a big fan of the word either, so I'll say that the person who was responsible for the vomitous front bathroom is a douchebag.
Posted by: sean at November 2, 2004 11:18 AM
I'm not sure how I failed to notice Danny's post earlier, but now that I see it I really believe he should win a prize for it. Drunk, schmunk. Brilliant.
Posted by: Dianna at November 2, 2004 11:26 AM
Just the other week I was called a "cunt" by a girl. I wasn't sure how to take it but I called her a prick & we fell to the floor laughing.
I still find it odd & sexy that my "ladyfriend" likes to use the word, "pussy", but only in sexual situations. Otherwise she refers to it as a "fancy".
I assure you, no more reserved girls for me, I like my women with a sailor's mouth.
Posted by: cb at November 2, 2004 11:30 AM
"Fancy"? What a cunt.
Posted by: Renee at November 5, 2004 12:39 PM
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