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April 02, 2004
Two unconnected paragraphs
They wanted to put our new techie, a friendly, ponytailed warhorse, into the cubicle next to me in the office I share with my four other female coworkers. My cowboy boss, resisting this attempt to pasture a foreign bull with his cows, decided instead to give his private office to the techie and move into the cramped space neighboring mine. As Nabokov would say, "Welcome, fellow, to this bordello." He has already warned me not to sit too close to him, though I'm not sure whether the implication is that I will jump him or he will jump me. But as long as he keeps co-writing my term papers I don't care.
If all the flights departed on time, the Lad should have landed in Cairo about a half hour ago I think. I am of course intending to be miserable without him. So far I've been able to replace him in my life with macaroni'n'cheese and "The Secret of Monkey Island," but I have my doubts about how long these pleasures can hold me. And while it is true that chocolate bars, when used correctly, can substitute for sex (I favor king-sized Mars Bars), what can I use to replace true love? Maybe Ben & Jerry's makes a flavor for this.
Posted by didofoot at April 2, 2004 11:41 AM
Comments
ben & jerry's does have that flavor. it's called phish food.
though i have been wanting to try the dublin mudslide so my opinion on the flavor of true love may change.
Posted by: jade at April 2, 2004 11:47 AM
but is true love really streaked with swirls of marshmallow? i just don't know.
Posted by: didofoot at April 2, 2004 11:49 AM
Jack would vote for Chubby Hubby. And just like true love, it should be consumed in one enormous, gluttonous sitting.
Posted by: sean at April 2, 2004 11:58 AM
Ugh. I did that with my pint of Soy Dream yesterday. By the time I finished it I felt like my teeth had been carpeted. Then some horrible demon made me go to Safeway and buy a package of chocolate cream Oreos.
In my over-chocolated state last night I couldn't really decide whether I wanted to eat them or fling them in the road. Today, though, I'm feeling much better about them and would recommend them if you can't find something sufficiently loving in the freezer section.
Posted by: dianna at April 2, 2004 12:16 PM
i have given up ice cream entirely due to the fact that my freezer doesn't perform its one function in life, namely to freeze. lack of frozen cream as a dietary intake could be an indication of a deeper problem, suchamuch as i have no love.
all you need is love. bump ba dump ba dump. all you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Posted by: michele at April 2, 2004 12:35 PM
It is *cheese* and macaroni. I am really tired if correcting people. Why does everyone have the world upside down?
Posted by: rick at April 4, 2004 05:45 AM
actually this was annie's brand, rather than the popular kraft cheese'n'macaroni of our childhoods, but i commend your commitment to defending brand identity.
Posted by: didofoot at April 4, 2004 10:48 AM
Macaronicheese.
Posted by: chambochae at April 6, 2004 11:51 AM
don't you mean macaronicheese pie?
Posted by: didofoot at April 6, 2004 12:06 PM
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