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November 19, 2003

If taking a bath with three other women makes me gay, I don't wanna be straight.

I recently had the opportunity to spend a few days in a enormous room filled with dead, taxidermized animals. Christine's father hunts big game like it's going out of style (which it is, pretty much, at least in my set). His den is the size of a University lecture hall and filled with all manner of beasts from darkest Africa. The animals have been stuffed by the finest taxidermists, and are realistic down to the last detail.

Can you think what that last detail would be?

That's right: testicles. Everywhere you look, testicles. Ocelot testicles, stag testicles, cheetah testicles, bear testicles, weird little marmot thing testicles. And lion testicles.

Well, of course I did. When else was I going to get a chance to touch the testicles of a lion?

Posted by didofoot at November 19, 2003 11:55 AM

Comments

Hey, there's nothing in your blog about this alleged bath with three women! All that reading for nothing.

Posted by: robyn at November 19, 2003 03:24 PM

Don't worry ro, it's all on film. You'll get to see it for sure.

Posted by: gene at November 19, 2003 05:04 PM

Did anyone get the testicle-touching on film?

Posted by: dianna at November 19, 2003 06:33 PM

My best friend in junior high had a father for a taxidermist. Their house was FULL of all kinds of dead stuff. I never once had the inclination to touch a testicle. That should have been a good clue, eh?

Posted by: Jolie at November 19, 2003 07:03 PM

hee hee hee. stop it. tee hee. oooo.

I'M A GONNA SMACK IT!!!

Posted by: michele at November 19, 2003 07:06 PM

I touched the lion's testicles! They were hard.

Posted by: jason at November 19, 2003 07:33 PM

you should see theodore roosevelt's house on long island. dead animals everywhere.

did you know... that herbivores are mounted with their mouths closed and carnivores are mounted with their mouths open?

Posted by: holohan at November 19, 2003 09:30 PM

Wait... wait... there's an exception in that room. I KNOW there's an herbivore with its mouth open. Is it the moose?

Posted by: dianna at November 19, 2003 11:45 PM

that would make sense. maybe the moose doesn't look ridiculous enough with the giant head and the antlers, so they decided to give it a dopey gape-mouthed visage as well. you never know with those taxidermists.

Posted by: holohan at November 20, 2003 09:58 AM

I spent many hours staring at the open-mouthed herbivores, mostly because they look wacky (no wonder they're usually mounted with their mouths closed). The moose has its mouth mostly closed, but there's some sort of elky-thing mounted high above the stairs that's positively snarling.

Posted by: Jacob at November 20, 2003 11:57 AM

i came face to face with an open-mouthed herbivore when jason swooped me down to within 2 inches of the gaping maw. definitely open. coulda stuck my tongue in there, i reckon. din' want to, but coulda.

Posted by: erica at November 21, 2003 12:41 PM

heh. try sticking your HEAD in its mouth. if it's a bear!

no, please, ouch, it is very hurtful! zut alors!

Posted by: didofoot at November 21, 2003 12:55 PM

Where are the pics, where are the pics? Oh sure anyone can say I took a bath with three women, yet how many amoung us have a picture(s) to prove it?

Posted by: Kevin at May 19, 2005 09:00 AM

pause while i think about it...he has a good point, where are the pics? why did no one take PICTURES of that? well, good thing we were videotaping the whole thing. from multiple angles.

Posted by: michele at May 19, 2005 09:41 AM

So I know for a fact that there are herbivores in that room with wide gaping mouths. Here is a little insight into our crazy family; Easter eggs. Every Easter our crazy father would hide the eggs in the room of death, ultimately requiring Christine and me to search through animals... one of his favorite locations was the Zebra rug with the head everyone used to trip over. Every year, Easter egg in the zebra mouth!

Posted by: Carolyn at May 19, 2005 10:36 AM

oh lord, i never thought about what an easter there would have been. it would be great if he actually replaced the testicles with eggs one year. i mean, great in a way.

Posted by: didofoot at May 19, 2005 01:06 PM

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