Carthage

« Dear Maggie, | Main | Bleating in Everyone's Face (A Blogger's Story) »

May 28, 2003

Turtles and Dragonflies

I've been so happy tramping over the city in this heat. I found a sidewalk by the park covered in dozens of stencils of turtles and dragonflies. In the middle of all these water dwellers someone has painted In Memory of My Love.

If the Lad died I would stencil windmills up the side of a building. But luckily he luckily doesn't die, luckily for me.

Mom, stop reading now, this will bother you. In fact, all moms should probably stop reading here.

I read half of a BDSM porn novel this weekend. (Hey, how was your Memorial Day weekend? Funny you should ask...) The book (called Carrie's Story, and it's pretty well-written, for porn) is about a woman who chooses to become a sex slave to a man. I've had it on the brain for a few days now and cannot stop thinking about it. I guess my question is, if you choose to allow someone else to control you, are you still autonomous?

And I guess my other question is, how reliable a map is this if it's fiction? Are there people who actually live this way, or just people who get off on reading about it? Girls being auctioned off? Girls who get sent to the Custom Pony farm?

Posted by didofoot at May 28, 2003 03:55 PM

Comments

"if you choose to allow someone else to control you, are you still autonomous?"

Absolutely! Choosing to allow someone else to control you is about you making the decision to feel liberated and free of the responsibility of making daily decisions for yourself. It's very intentional, thus, the individual remains autonomous. The initial decision rests with the individual who chooses to be submissive. It's all just nipple clamps and ball-gags after that.

Note: If your mind is spinning after reading Carrie's Story, you should go rent The Secretary. I guarantee you will be intrigued... in a good way.

Posted by: Jolie at May 28, 2003 07:19 PM

she's already seen secretary. i'm going to give her 'blue the color of desire' next. maybe. after i give her carrie's story. maybe after i force her to be my sex slave. (sorry eydie)

for real though, i'm pretty damn sure that even though it's fiction it's based on a real culture in SF. and i'm equally sure that plenty of people live this way. maybe someone will get us numbers. cough gene cough.

Posted by: michele at May 28, 2003 07:51 PM

i was reading carrie's story this morning on the drive into work. and i have to say that although you can ask your question in the abstract, her voice and her decision and the fact that she could stop at any point if she wanted to kind of leads me to the conclusion that she is still autonomous. it's her decision to go everytime she does, (so far anyway, i suppose this could change halfway thru the novel), abstracting this possibly fictional character's mentality to stand in for the rest of the subculture, you can extrapolate a theory that each and every bottom remains autonomous within thier own relationships. that is an incredibly loose argument based on one non-real example though.

but my question is: how is it any different her releasing her control to him in this fashion than two typically classified "normal" lovers. if you love someone, don't you basically give yourself up to them? don't you begin to consider thier wants and needs over your own if you really love them? this of course is theoretical perfect love i guess. but i only see BDSM as a more intense version of the expression of love/joy/sex/pain. even though there is a difference in the expression sure-- whips, chains, etc, whatever--shades of gray in my mind.

Posted by: michele at May 29, 2003 10:22 AM

i got to the part where she signs her life and money away to him. i'm no longer so sure about the autonomy thing. but i have to say, so far the pony farm is hot.

Posted by: michele at May 29, 2003 09:26 PM

It's all just nipple clamps and ball-gags after that.

jolie, you're my hero.

Posted by: dianna at May 30, 2003 09:01 PM

this has nothing at all to do with bondage. but,i am stuck in paris. i am hanging out at the airport. this is my only amusement, but what amusement it is. if only i had porn...

Posted by: kim at May 31, 2003 08:51 AM

kim come home! i miss you! let's get sushi!

Posted by: michele at May 31, 2003 10:51 AM

Post a comment