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January 25, 2003

I am a singing telegram. (BANG!)

Sorry for the tantrum. (Or am I lying?) Upon further reflection I've decided it's better not to lie about important stuff like having found the cure for cancer or Allen coming home, since it gets people's hopes up and that's no good. I need you people to remain hopeless, so that you can be coerced into doing my bidding when the revolution comes.

I've been thinking about this gun control issue. It occurs to me that the only cop I know is racist and kind of annoying, and I'm not too keen on him carrying a gun. Neither am I happy about a lot of strangers running around in police and military uniforms with guns that they're allowed to use on me. I mean, sure, I'm on no one's shitlist now, but I've seen "Enemy of the State" and I know how fast all that could change. And when the revolution comes...Anyway, I recognize that they go through training and all to prevent them from shooting their own toes off or accidentally nailing an infant in the line of fire, but I still don't like it. So maybe I should be allowed to have a gun. Maybe we should all have them. I mean in an ideal world, no, there would be no guns anywhere and the cops would just carry big sticks (coughEnglandcough) but in this world I don't think things are going to go that way. I'm all in favor of mandatory training courses for gun owners though Sort of like driver's licenses.

How come when four drunk teenagers take daddy's convertible out for a drive and kill four other teenagers, no one forms a coalition demanding that cars be taken away from all civilians? (And, but if they did, would it be such a bad thing?)

The sum total of my education about this issue comes from having watched "Bowling for Columbine." I'm sure all this has been said (more betterly) before. But up until now I'd just been assuming guns are bad for children and other living things because that is the way of my people. Call this my rebellious stage.

Posted by didofoot at January 25, 2003 10:15 PM

Comments

Kristen, are you trying to tell us that you want to form a militia? 'cause if so, I get the top bunk!

Posted by: jason at January 26, 2003 11:38 AM

i already have a couple of guns. and some sharp knives. and uhh...lots of camoflauge make up.

i want the top bunk! me! i want to pee on jason! urine mattress! soaking!

drip drip.

Posted by: michele at January 26, 2003 04:57 PM

Pee on me, will you! That's it, militia's off!

Posted by: jason at January 26, 2003 06:13 PM

Girl Army will offer a gun class soon...right now we're just learning them internally. I mean, not guns, internally, but guns within the collective. And not for the pee squad or anything, just for in-case-someone-pulls-one-on-you, or in-case-you-feel-like-carrying-one-in-your-purse-sometimes-to-resolve traffic-disputes.

I concur--we should be as armed as the cops, and the cops won't be disarmed anytime soon--so keep that Kmart assassin shit moving--but I myself, don't want to have that "I'm God" trump card in my interpersonal interactions, and that is why I choose to carry, a rubber stamp.

Posted by: kt at January 26, 2003 08:02 PM

mad props on the Clue reference, kristen.

someone on conservative talk radio once said that cops should be allowed to carry fully automatic machine guns, since criminals do, and cops shouldn't be out-gunned by criminals. nor should the citizenry be out-gunned by cops, it would seem.

i'm envisioning a deathly silent metropolitan street, and every man, woman, and child is walking around with an AK slung over their respective shoulders, and then... and then... a car backfires.

Posted by: holohan at January 27, 2003 08:57 AM

I know this wasn't your point, but I also think it should be a lot more difficult to get a driver's license. Especially if you're old.

Posted by: sean at January 29, 2003 10:22 AM

"go back to your rice paddies, mulan!"

Posted by: michele at January 29, 2003 11:22 AM

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