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November 25, 2002

The End of an Era

It's almost over. I pretty much knew when I started this that it wouldn't last, because none of these relationships ever last. I jump into it, delighted, like (pardon me) a pig in shit, and wallow around for awhile until abruptly it just...ends.

So it's ending. The worst part about this is now I have to go through the whole post-apocalyptic limbo scene again, where I just don't have the energy for something new but then neither can I stand the sudden space in my life that it used to fill. I'll wind up once again jumping in and out of, shall we say, less worthy pursuits, just to keep myself occupied. Just like last time, I'll start heavily relying on my friends to get me through the unoccupied weekends. I'll be haunting all kinds of quote 'pickup joints,' desperate for something new even though I can barely stomach the thought.

I hate this. I've been drawing it out as long as I could, but yesterday I initiated a nine-hour communication session pretty much designed to finish it, and I predict that today will see the whole thing come finally to its depressingly inevitable conclusion.

I admit, I've already started flirting with other men: Pynchon, Ondaatje, and even a brief saucy glance at Herodotus. But none of them are mine in the way this was mine.

I'm wicked depressed, y'all. If anyone knows a good book they could introduce me to, I'd be grateful. Just to tide me over. Just to make it through.

Posted by didofoot at November 25, 2002 09:09 AM

Comments

i've got more DFW for ya.

May I recommend ASFTINDA?

Posted by: ian at November 25, 2002 10:22 AM

I'm really not sure I'm ready to move on to more of the same. this book is The Entertainment. I think I need a different kind of book after this, one more responsive to my needs and demanding less of my time. a book with some compassion. maybe it's time to finally explore my curiosity about female authors...

Posted by: didofoot at November 25, 2002 10:25 AM

well, then try Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Alison. my favorite book.

Posted by: tracy at November 25, 2002 10:27 AM

you are NOT going to like my suggestion. this sunday i read approximately 6, HORRIBLE young adult romances. and i snickered thru each one. in bed. in the bathtub. in the other bed. in the first bed again. good times.

hmm that's not so much a suggestion as it is a warning. don't read those books they will rot your teeth.

Posted by: michele at November 25, 2002 10:27 AM

oh, and......you devoured that shit! wtf?

Posted by: tracy at November 25, 2002 10:29 AM

what do you need to explore female authors for? you've been reading those edith wharton books non-stop. and jane austen.

Posted by: michele at November 25, 2002 10:29 AM

I will try your alison woman. I'll even try the stinky romance novels. I just don't want to get sucked back into recycling all my old flames, which I generally do when recovering. two ondaatjes, half a doze austins, usually terry pratchett, maybe some pamela dean...

Posted by: didofoot at November 25, 2002 10:31 AM

I know. I ate it like fatfree low sodium cherry pie.

I have to buy you guys a new one and keep this one, because I hauled it around so much that some pages are coming out. I'm sorry, I know it's not good book borrowing procedure and usually I take good care of books. this sucker is big though.

Posted by: didofoot at November 25, 2002 10:32 AM

mmm pamela......

now i vote the changeover!

Posted by: michele at November 25, 2002 10:42 AM

oh man don't tempt me. I have that thing memorized.

Posted by: didofoot at November 25, 2002 10:52 AM

i just went to my "bookshelf" (a bunch of rotting cabinets in my father's garage) and it looks like the only women writers i have are poets & theorists, except for Whartonausten and the monumentally ordinary Kingsolver. and Doris Lessing's "Briefing for a Descent Into Hell," which is Aaron's favorite book, and he's a Pynchonite Robbins-y sexpot.

less demanding of your time: Inga Muscio's "Cunt"
more demanding of your time: Helene Cixous' "Si-Je" (i think you can get it in english and french side-by-side, and then lend it to me)

Posted by: i've got a mind that can steer me to your house at November 25, 2002 11:26 AM

helene cixooky kooky is fascinating. although i was less thrilled by cunt even though the title and cover were great. she in person was less great i thought. but that was probably just me. and i did quote her for some paper i wrote once. really i quoted both of them. hmmm....ah college. good times.

Posted by: michele at November 25, 2002 11:35 AM

*whimper* when they let me out of english 114/214 and into real classes, will I be well read too? *whimper*

kingsolver, the only one I have read in that list, is a fave rave of mine. I guess ordinary, yeah. her essays are almost better than her fiction because she's all pretty language and interesting facts without all that plot tripping her up.

Posted by: didofoot at November 25, 2002 11:40 AM

Firstly, ASFTINDA is essays. Short, sweet, and if you don't like one (like the long and aimless and groundless TV essay), you skip it. Well worth the price of admission.

And if you want like the exact freaking opposite of the Ondaatjes of the world (and 1-over the women writer's of the world to boot), check out Thom Jones, preferably The Pugilist at Rest. It's good shit. Makes Hemingway seem like Austen.

Posted by: ian at November 25, 2002 12:02 PM

as long as you take heavy duty theory and feminist classes you will be. =)

Posted by: michele at November 25, 2002 12:03 PM

Here is my post "Infinite Jest" entry.

Posted by: ian at November 25, 2002 12:58 PM

no, i don't want an ondaatje-opposite. I *love* ondaatje. he's all pretty words.

and screw you having the better IJ entry. that is so limp. I should demap you right now.

Posted by: didofoot at November 25, 2002 01:37 PM

if you're looking for some beach trash i suggest either _Youth in Revolt_ or _Frisco Pigeon Mambo_, both by C.D. Payne and both taking place in the bay area. YIR is about a destructive 14-year-old boy, and FPM is about talking pigeons who talk. there's a seagull too.

Posted by: holohan at November 25, 2002 01:50 PM

go for the pigeons! yes! mambo number 5!

Posted by: michele at November 25, 2002 02:06 PM

SOULS OF THE DAMNED RETURN AS PIGEONS:

Wave to a flock of pigeons in the air.
"Ciao, Benito!" I declare.

Posted by: didofoot at November 25, 2002 02:51 PM

How beaten up could it be? Just return that one. I'm sure it's fine. No need to buy an new one. Okay? Silly rabbit, money is for 30 somethings to spend.

Posted by: tracy at November 25, 2002 04:13 PM

'cunt' is not bad, and worth reading just to say you've read a book with that name, but i do agree, michele, she was less than fascinating in person. i am sufficiently intimidated by y'all's book knowledge, so i'm almost loathe to suggest anything. but if you are really on a lesbian kick, try 'tipping the velvet' by sarah waters. it's like lesbian jane austen. kind of. try it, you'll like it! the book, that is. =)

Posted by: erica at November 25, 2002 08:10 PM

ooooh yes definately with the sarah waters. she is good.

Posted by: michele at November 25, 2002 08:56 PM

the book of laughter and foregetting - milan kundera.

a sunny day somewhere forms.

Posted by: pants said it and at November 26, 2002 02:01 AM

i have different milan kundera book if you want to borrow it. i have no idea what the title is, but it looks pretty. has a little hard case. ummm yeah i stole it for looks without actually looking at it.

Posted by: michele at November 26, 2002 09:45 AM

milan kundera...there was just a really vicious, really true harper's piece about his utterly losing interest and writing the same lazy plot five or six times now. and about "the recurrent and imaginatively sadistic way in which he portrays women in sexual situations." true, if not a reason for complete dismissal.

also dogging him for playing the Poor Czech Exile but refusing to go back to Prague when the communists left. because, Paris. fuck homeland.

oh, hey, i also have like eight books by Virginia Woolf, who really, I mean top her, just fucking try, all you new fangled Thoms and talking pigeon-shit!

hi pants! how's praha?

Posted by: at November 26, 2002 10:30 AM

i hate mrs dalloway. but i loved that play about water..whatever the title was. other than that i think i've only read her essays. which i do like. but based on dalloway i kind of despise her novels. which is unfair since that's only one.

Posted by: michele at November 26, 2002 11:16 AM

can we now dog pants for playing poor czech exile? (except for how he doesn't.)

Posted by: didofoot at November 26, 2002 02:00 PM

silly didofoot, dogs don't wear pants! i read 'the incredible lightness of being' a million years ago... i kind of remember sadistic sex. maybe i need to read it again.

Posted by: erica at November 26, 2002 04:40 PM

i recommend _candy_, by terry southern. he's the guy who wrote _dr. strangelove_, the book. ridiculously funny but pretty sick. it's about sex in america, speaking of sadistic sex by the way, and it was written in 1958 -- this guy is vicious. maybe i'll leave it on your desk, kristen. i also recommend _profit over people_, certainly noam chomsky's funniest since _year 501, the conquest continues_ ! 'filled with gags at every turn', raves gene washington of the los angeles times, 'i laughed so hard on the subway people thought i was a loony!'

Posted by: peacock at November 27, 2002 06:10 PM

peacock, i adore you. if you come home you can have this nice shiny hug.

Posted by: didofoot at November 27, 2002 07:17 PM

goodness, who could pass up an offer like that?

i just bought a plane ticket to teheran.

i'll be there tomorrow at noon, can you meet me?

wait a minute, where's home again?

*sob*

Posted by: peacock wants a hug at November 28, 2002 11:30 AM

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