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October 18, 2002
Kicking is never the answer.
"Are you going to go on your ride tomorrow?" I asked The Lad at dinner last night, because I am The Stupid. The Lad had been planning to drive his motobike 1,000 miles in a day to get an obscure certification which would profit him nothing in the real world, much like a Bachelor's Degree.
"No," said The Lad regretfully. "I haven't had a chance to fix my bike yet."
"What's wrong with your bike?" asked my mom, who might also be called The Sharp Ears but won't be.
"Oh, I laid it down last weekend," said The Lad blithely, as if he didn't know this would land me in a mess o'trouble. I began gently kicking his ankle with all of my strength under the table. (For those of you who just like normal 4-wheeled vehicles, 'laying down' a bike means anything from a minor fall to a near-death experience.)
"What," said my mother, in a tone which to me clearly meant "You have ten seconds to pretend you're joking before I forbid you to ever see my daughter again," but to The Lad apparently meant "How interesting, please tell me more."
"Yeah," he said, "I was going about ten miles an hour on the freeway..." While he told his story, under the table my foot was frantically WHAM-WHAM-WHAMming his anklebone. My mom finally looked at me and said "Kicking isn't going to help."
When he finished his story, she turned to me and said "You understand that you can never go on his bike, ever again, ever, whatsoever, ever, never. Right?"
"I understand," I said solemnly. Then The Lad decided this was a great moment to begin telling a story about this time he and his wonderbike hit the side of a VW Bug...
Posted by didofoot at October 18, 2002 03:09 PM
Comments
ok, gene is the most competent person i know. Certifiably--i can make a certificate for that on my inkjet printer, and fuck the 1000-mile journey.
so, hearing that he has crashed, um, three times? puts the Bleak Face all over my hopes of becoming a radical biker bitch.
because, if toddlers can beat kristen up, they can also balance on a tricycle better than i.
Posted by: crooked gemmamine at October 18, 2002 03:56 PM
So are you still coming to your bday dinner on the back of the lad's bike? oops, i shouldn't have said that.
Posted by: tracy at October 18, 2002 04:29 PM
actually, not even the lad is coming on the bike.
Posted by: didofoot at October 19, 2002 10:17 AM
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